I got so inspired by today's bread. It's about life not being fair. Well come to think of it, if life is fair there'll be no one fighting in trial courts. There'll be less tears, and pains, and remorse on earth. But from what I've learned from our bread today, it basically affirms that life will never be fair. That you cannot beg on life to give you what you deserve. But we cannot miss the best part - God is fair. And He will always be regardless of the circumstance.

For the past couple of weeks, I've had my share of injustice. It's not the ones you can just shrug off because it involved the whole community. I can put up with dormmates saying I'm not approachable, or job recruiters thinking I'm not too game to take on the job. This time, I just couldn't believe I am misinterpreted 99.9% of the time! From my smile, to my manner of speaking in English, to my text messages. With all the crap, I get myself thinking why these people find it easier to think I'm mean rather than saying, "Oh well, maybe she didn't mean it that way." Then again, I've come to the conclusion that I can never control people's opinion of me. And yes, a little bonding with them would do as we have just came from a much-needed joint household/fellowship. But back to my point, in this lifetime there'll always be certain times when you'll be looked upon through the glass of negativity. You just CANNOT have a hold on what others will think and say about you.

Inspite of that, one cannot also change the fact that the most important opinion in this world is that of God's. The one that comes next is yours. One thing I've learned from the experience is to always check on your motives list as you get bombarded by both negative and positive comments from people. It helps to know that it's not a character flaw that I look suplada or mayabang. It's just an impression. To top it all, God knows what's inside our hearts. Sweet justice is His.

Now I've realized that whatever comes my way, there will always be a fair, and justice-loving God who knows the truth. I am no longer bitter after being terribly misinterpreted. The issue has gone down the drain and God in His power has taken off the burden from our hearts. It's amazing that His opinion will always be based on the truth - and that He'd make a way for love and peace to reign again.

I dream of running away from here. I want to run as fast as i can and just be there at that place to be with you. That priceless portion of time and space when nothing and no one else would matter but just YOU and ME...

I want to let off my guards and be just me. To lay down every single detail of me without feeling the threat of judgement. With great certainty that the person next to me understands my heart. I just want to be with you... you whose face i cannot see, whose voice i do not know. But whose heart I recognize as one that is meant to bind with mine.

Lets run to that place, be together. Till that time comes, maybe we can start walking as slow as we want it to be.

Hi everyone! With Joni's blog updated, i felt compelled to finally say a word about the change of things. Right now, Joni and I are on our 4th day in the  makati-based job. For starters, we had our fair share of orientations, introductions, and portfolio (team) meetings. Would you believe, I've already had 4 group meetings this week. This used to be a very rare occurrence in my previous job. Not that we can't come up with team stuffs, it's just that everyday is bonding (and team building) time for all of us. Which brings me to the reason why I had to put this on cyberspace - I SO TERRIBLY MISS MY SEO TEAM!

It's a good thing Joni and I are a package deal when we moved here. I am not alone in the experience of anxiety and awkwardness  in the presence of unfamiliar personalities. We feel that they're the newbies in our sphere of existence, not us hahaha! Joni was right in saying we had negatively utilized the internal chat program here. What with our constant supply of private jokes about some people/things in here, they'd want to fire us the next day for sure. Haha!

One thing I've noticed with the people here, it's simply passion, efficiency, and hard work! I can't believe the copywriter ain't making any complaints with her tons of writing stuff piled up! Before, I was only assigned to write like half of what she does and that would take a week for me to complete, plus the nagging complaints the team would hear from me. But these guys, they're just incredible! Work work work! And without the fuss!

But nothing comes close to the sisterhood bonding with the SEO girls. The first days were really hard on me. I could not manage with the idea of Karen and the rest of you not sharing the office space with me. Then again, I asked for this... and hey, it's not too bad after all.

Tomorrow is keyword research. What's our password again? 

When it rains, it pours.

Oh these are the days when romzkee gets confused with her bunch of boys to toy deal with! For some strange reason, they simply refuse to fall in line. This is not to sound "feeling maganda" or something, but yeah... I've been having difficulties handling male egos so as not to hurt them so badly when I say, ''It just won't work out. and it's not your fault." Really lame, you'd say. But what else can I do just to reduce the chances of total heart wreckage.

My heart swells as well. Lately, it couldn't decide properly (and whoever said that one should decide with her heart in the first place?). Let me tell you something. It's common knowledge that girls have that fantasy of a dream man/right man they want to end up with. And often times we wait for them (aminin nyo yan mga sisters!). Then for some, they get real lucky for having found their dream guy. The best part is he likes her too. Then life gets in the way... in the way that you don't expect it to be. Someone walks into your life, a total opposite of what you've ever wanted in a man. The circumstances are so right and before you know it, he has swept you off your feet. Now the question lies in here: Are you willing to give up the dream for the present reality?

It's hard to make a choice, a rational one when feelings get in the way. It was such a pain in the ass just to imagine letting go of one that you hold dear. At the same time, you're scared of the other option as well. For days of praying and discerning, I'm slowly coming up to my senses.

"Sometimes we cannot choose based on who gives the stronger feeling inside. It has to be grounded upon the best chances of a working relationship."

When I think about it, love really has got nothing to do with feelings. 

"I ask myself why. I sleep like a baby through the night. Maybe it helps to know, you'll be there tomorrow..."

That song plays in my radioblogclub a thousand times a day. It's been a long time since I've had such burst of inspiration from morning to dawn. Mornings are truly sweeter when you have someone waiting at the doorstep to accompany you to work. But minutes are like days in the office when you're apart. When I think about it, maybe God really intended things to go this way. As they say, you know it is meant for you when everything falls into the right places. Happy is quite an understatement if I am to describe the state of bliss that I am in now. Though there's still a big cloud of uncertainty hovering the sky, nothing beats the morning sunshine that shines upon my everyday. (I told ya, this entry's going to be real cheesy!)

I am enjoying the feeling it brings me. That makes me want to be just in the present.. to just live in the present moment of things. Everything else, the past and all its concerns blur into the background because there's a far more important, significant thing that is happening right now. It is something I didn't actually ask for... something I can live without. But God gives us more than what our minds and hearts could ever yearn for. That's what makes living everyday a miracle to me now.

To my friends who are still in the search, you might want to stop for a while. You'd be thankful then that it found you just at the right circumstances of things.

Okay enough with the cheesy entries, let's talk about passion this time (passion as in zeal to do something.. not the romantic, sensual thing hehe).

I've come across a lot of readings about one's core gift and pursuing personal passion. I gave significant thought on these things, but maybe some part of me refuse to admit that i am ditching off this concept all this time.

Pursuing one's passion. Gosh, I'm not even sure of what's mine in the first place. Sure I like the line of work that i am in now. Search Engine Marketing is an exciting field of modern-day-cyber advertising. I think I can be a learned practitioner in this field, but how does one develop a passion, an ardent love for it? What makes other SEOs wake up all pumped up in the morning so as to check on their marketing campaigns? How does one teach a person to love one thing?

Work pays well (despite the lack of work I do). Don't get me wrong, I produce the needed output but most of the time, I'm not doing anything... or maybe I'm not just thinking of other things to do to improve my craft, or simply put, this ain't my number one passion. It's too sad.

It's the season of joys and cheers. It's the time to be thankful and grateful. Christmas is the day to remember the One who came down to us for the salvation of mankind. What love does it compare to a God who opted to be a man so as to bring peace in our hearts now and the life after.

Merry Christmas everyone! May you find Jesus' love in one another.