So you did ask about me...

... Let me have my turn ...

Will you be mine this Christmas?

There was some level of depression when i found out. even though it didn't come much of a shock to me, still it did stop my heart from beating for a while. It was as if i don't have any right to hold on to the memories anymore... felt like our time was a misplaced episode of some story not mine. I still mourned, my friend. I've long accepted that we're over. It's just that your memories are too precious to throw away. They're still significant... as significant as you are to me. For a moment I did not want to believe that I can move on with all my might.

And then came this...

The moment I laid my eyes on you... and you opened your hands for me, magic came rushing through my veins. And I just told myself....

 

Ay neng, naka move on na ako! Hahaha!

After 4 plus years, i'm finally giving up (and letting go) of my ever-faithful Nokia 3310 (ako na lng ata meron nito sa ortigas), to open up to a new relationship with Mr.Ericsson P910i. I've been itching to call him Karlo, but that's gonna be trouble for sure.

maaga ang pasko.

Today is his birthday...

For some reason, i'm tensed beyond comprehension.

Why is everyone asking me to greet him?

Hindi man nga lang nag thank you eh....

Smart Bro is doing a great job permitting me to reconnect with my missed cyber life. For the longest time, my eyes have been devoid of Google and Yahoo! The first two days were bearable, and actually fun not to be reminded of work. Yet after a while, it felt like there's some missing part of me that I need to reconnect with. Once again, Google adsense did Santa Clause to gift me with Smart Broadband Internet Conenction. Swell.

So for 6 days I've been off from the real world taking sanctuary in our place - Cavite. Of course, mother definitely liked the idea of the 1-week leave. To me, it's an early holiday treat. Thank God for these moments. The days were filled with christmas shopping sprees (at divisoria! weeee!), home decorating sessions, trips to the salon/spa, family bonding, and a lot of reconciliation efforts. If you think that's not busy enough, I fed the DVD player with flicks (that weren't really outstanding, just got me disappointed), tried gobbling a book down, and did a little copywriting job on the side.

It was not exactly a restful leave but just being around the peaceful, airy, countryhome-style atmosphere is enough to relax me.... Oh wait, just got news from Mr. Kips that I got the copywriting job! weehee! What's great about it is that I work according to my availability. I don't intend to have this full time but it sure is a boost in my copywriting career. See, is this a vacation or what?

On monday I'll be back at work with the SEO team. I sure miss them sorely - pre-adjustment training for me in light of the resignation. It' still quite early to write about this, but hey the blues are coming more often now.

To counter that, let's study semantic markup, and XHTML for the next copywriting assignment.

If there's one great lesson I've learned these past days, it's not to disregard and be agitated by forwarded quotes (even if they sound like those annoying unlimitxts).

My friends and officemates know my great disgust for unlimited texting. They know how many times I went out my way to txt the sender to please remove me in his/her unlimited txt group because I don't like receiving regular-20-times-a-day forwarded messages. I never got a nasty response out of doing this. But something hard to ignore propped up this time. I never thought that senders might have meant those what we often think as spammy, non-sense quotes.

We became friends for a considerable anount of time. With our hectic schedules and different lifestyles, we have failed to communicate on a regular basis. This friend of mine was among the perennial quote-forwarding people in my phonebook. Good thing my impatient side never got the best of me to have actually moved me to tell her to quit the stupid message forwarding thingy. But there was this one time when she sent a quote, a forwarded message (what else). Instinctively, I took it as one of her usual unlimited txts. Little did I know that I was the only person whom she sent this supposed to be 'special' quote. She was going through a depression I was not aware of that time. And maybe because of my insensitivity, I replied something about the work we're supposed to attend to in the community. The message didn't sound right to her, though. My words failed me and sure enough, it was put in bad (terrible) light. When I think of it now, I figured it didn't really come out right the way I expected it to be. So anyway, that was the thing that went on. She was offended and she did hate me for that... for a long time. Me, being the clueless one never got any hint despite the obvious signals she'd been sending always. I can be so pathetic at times.

After receiving a feedback on this issue, I went up to her and asked about this. Thank heavens her monstrous anger (which I never ever imagined) had gone with the wind by and we agreed putting the issue to an end. Ending: We're friends again.

But something about what she said was revealed to me... that she actually needed me that time she sent that txt message... that she wanted to bring back the life of our friendship... that she really meant what is said in that seemingly ordinary cheap quote.

I learned a great deal on this: We can easily get all irritated by these little spammy txt messages without thinking that it's still people, real and with emotions who are the ones behind the forwarded lines.

Maybe I've been too busy concentrating on the tougher side of life that I have failed to value relationships instead. We can get so pre-occupied by the race and the complexities of budgeting time, money, energy in order to live, but forget what it actually means to LIVE. To live a quality, relationship-nurturing life.

Oh, I can get people admiring me for my sense of priority to achieve goals. But I guess I'm last on the list in that category called love.

80 percent of me believe that people are more good than evil. Although human beings have the capacity to build up and/or destroy, I still want to cling on the idea that we are more dominantly made up of good fiber.

Nobody ever said that this life is fair. Oddly though, I still get surprised when I hear news of people doing terribly mean things to their friends and family who dearly love them. And when this fate has suddenly crossed my way, it made me rethink my beliefs for a moment - are we really more capable of doing good than bad? or is it the other way around most of the time?

If there is one emotion I usually keep away from, it's anger. I don't like myself when angry. These are my 'evil' moments when anger overwhelms me. This time though, i felt it imperative to be angry... and to hate people just for once.

I hate insecure freaks. I hate those who blabber all night long talking about the same person they've been talking about day in, day out. I hate people who think another should bow down to them and appease their dislike for you. They do that to further justify that they're right and you're wrong, and that it was perfectly okay to be talking behind your back for months and month. Even if it has taken all of you together to attend the same regular prayer meetings and worship sessions, it is still okay to back stab!

And you did hurt me big time. You were all successful in hurting me.

If anger starts off my evil moments, permit me to be in hell just for now.