I have so many things to write about today. Well, why not? I had a pretty long vacation at home. And boy,oh,boy, did I enjoy it sooooooooo much!

I got home by the 30th last year so I can help out in the house for the preparations. We cooked, cleaned the house, ate, then cooked again. Whew! It was really exhilarating but the family had the cheerful atmosphere in great anticipation of the house blessing and the upcoming reunion then.

Read on and be amazed by the start of my 2006!

House Blessing / New Year's Day / Family Reunion

After 6 months of living in our new home at Metro South Village, we finally had our house blessing last January 1, 2006. It was a double event for everyone since New Year means the annual family reunion of the Roaquin clan.

By 10:30 am, my mom's siblings and their families were flocking the house. It was so nice to see my cousins all grown up now (too bad, I'm finally accepting the fact that I am the shortest in the brood... sigh..). We have a new born babe cuzin. His name is Mico. He looks so much like Mr. Bogus!

11 am, the officiating priest arrived. He first blessed the lawn, then the sala, the kitchen, my brother's room, the girls' room, and finally the master's bedroom. My mom, as usual, had to shed some touching tears for the prayers rendered by the priest. It was a very solemn moment for the family amidst the constant kiddie affairs of my toddler cousins. The blessing felt like our new home is now being opened to Christ and the Holy Spirit. Now, the family is within the bounds of protection and guidance from our good Lord. I can say that our house is now finally a complete home. cheers!

And so after the ceremony, it was lunch time (with videoke singing on the sides heheh!). And being the original sing-along princess in the family, I was the first one to render that kind of comical entertainment.

After lunch, we had the games. My boy cuzins brought along their yayas... i mean their teeny-bopper-girlfriends. They were well cooperative lest they get raised eyebrows from my aunts haha! The game I found most exciting was that sort of battle of the brain (-less?) game. Boys vs Girls. We were asked about the history of the family, profiles of the family members, etc. No one knew about the year mamalola was born. Jeff was too hilarious. I can't believe he didn't know that he was the cousin being referred to in that final question. It was so surprising that I got the correct answer when the answer is actually him! and he didn't know that ahahahha!!!!

The New Year's Mass

We went to church for an anticipated New Year mass on the night of Dec. 31st. That was one of the most memorable mass celebrations for me because like after 2 weeks of not going to church, I finally knelt down and prayed inside a church. It was a guilt-ridding event for as well as a perfect time to give thanks to all the wonderful blessings and neccessary trials that God has showered upon me to keep me both happy and strong. *smiles*

So there! I'm happy that New Year's celebration didn't get all spoiled for me, unless I set out another useless New Year's resolution for 2006. What I made up instead, is a list of my goals for the new year. Here it goes...

1. Buy a new CPU. Kelangan na talaga itech.

2. Ang hosting and domain. Pramis na talaga!

3. Quit being lazy and get that cool job on the sides hehe!

4. Get my TOR.

5. Web design

6 Be involved in a worthwhile community.

Ok, I just listed six.To go more than that would frustrate me for sure. READ - Realistic. *smiles again*

There goes the wacky start of my 2006. Next year, I do hope it'll be as fun as what we had now. At the same time, the six listed should find realizations by the end of the year, at least.

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Yehey! It started with Joni... then came Rhiz! and now, meeeeeeeee!!!

Got a new layout for my site, with family pics on the sides hehe! Hope you guys like it.

Orange has been my most loved color these days. I've always dreamt of having autumn in the Philippines. Good thing I've seen quite a number of orangy-crunchy fallen tree leaves back in UP Los Banos. Hanggang dun na lang ang autumn dream ko!

I have nothing much to say today. Almost no priority tasks for the SEO girls. Rhiz came at the right time of her shift (joke lang ). And after doing my directories-checking-thing.... I'm doodling over my tab. cool!

Sana araw araw laging gan'to...PETIX *smiles*

Today I got late by 2 minutes. sigh...

We got an email from mother Reah, reminding us of our tardiness and frequent absences nowadays. I don't used to be having this late thing ever in life. I can't seem to figure out if it's the long line in the mrt line or the speed of my walking that's making me late. I mean hey, I wake up 5 am everyday yet I still get late by 2 minutes. Is it time for a new year's resolution, rom?

Wedding Services. I've been tasked to write for a wedding planning business. After finishing my article, I feel proud that I've managed to come up with the cheesy phrases like "We know how important your wedding day is to you." And, "Celebrate love. Celebrate a life together." What the?! hehehe! Being a web copywriter can sometimes be a funny job.

BUSHWHACKED! I'm reading this new book. Got it from Powerbooks for only P99. Cool eh? It's a highly anti-Bush material. I'm still at the Introduction part coz I got home quite late last night I hadn't had ample time to read. The thing that struck me in the book so far, is the fact that Americans are complaining about their tax cuts. It reduces the government's services for the people daw. Ha! A good argument for the Phil government's E - VAT program. I can't believe they wish to be taxed while Filipinos despise the e-vat. And they're not being serviced well? Hehe! I guess, they better see our slums and far flung baranggays of the provinces.

Hungry. It's lunch time. I'm waiting for Kelly to finish her content so we can finally eat meals. Done with almost all of my task priorities today! great! I just need to eat.

PS: I'd like to thank the people who constantly visit my site and amazing for me, they also have the heart to praise my new layout.  

Thanks guys!

Imagine this.

Me sitting on this green wooden bench in front of our lovely little lawn. I feel the cool breese soothe my skin while I listen to the soft swish and swoosh of the swaying pine trees all over our place. My eyes are clossed and yet I feel the wonderful warmth of the ray of the sun touching the left portion of my face. I have Norah Jones' singing Those Sweet Words" in the background (courtesy of daddy Raul). Hot choco in my right hand.

I smile.

It's just so sweet and wonderful.

Life is truly beautiful.

Once again, God has proven that He is really good... so good that He has blessed me with life.

Every ray of sun warming my face feels like God smiling down on me. Every run of the cool wind feels like His caress upon me. Ahhhh...... isn't it amazing? What if I chose a different life? What if I've been lead to a different direction to live now? And what if I've gone the other way and pursued my poor choices? Would I experience this grand masterpiece? NAH!

You see friends, it makes me believe that God has a way of helping you choose and placing you in the direction you should be heading. I praise Him. I thank Him for not letting me off His grip and end up deprived of the wonderful everydays that I have now. I see quite a picture of His purposes.

God is really good.

PS: I almost fell asleep on the bench. Good thing my little sister came over to whisper: "Ate, maglinis ka na daw ng bahay sabi ni mommy."

Weepee! The start of 2006 has been fantastic so far!

I feel that I have this unquenchable energy to run and achieve my goals for the year one by one! I have to share an advice: If everyday, you wake up in the morning and you feel lazy to go to work, just think about the things that you need to accomplish this year and really (and I mean really) strategize your game plan to get it. The everyday little thing that you're supposed to do in lieu of the goal will keep you pumped up with energy to go on each day.

So as I was saying before segued to that piece of advice, the start of the year has really been great for me. Here's why:

Seek and you shall find.

Sunday, Jan 8. Dad went out early for a very important family affair with his cousins in Manila. That meant I can't go to the church because there's no other way to reach our sort of mass area in the village unless you use a private vehicle. Walang ibang masasakyan. And since dad brought the car, I can't attend mass and I don't want to miss any Sunday celebration this year. So what I did was to get out of the house early so I can go to church at Pasay by 7pm. I went out pretty late, 5:30pm. I didn't know that the bus I was in had to wait for all the seats to be filled up. That meant a lot of waiting. And the jeepney that was supposed to take me to the church had to go through the same procedure. So to cut the story short, I came late for the mass. The first thing I heard was the last line of the priest's homily: Remember that Christ is always there wherever you go in your life.

Then comes the next line: Okay, brothers and sisters let us all stand and blah blah blah....

Nyah!!!! I failed to hear the most important part of the mass. Well at least I was in time to catch up on the closing of his homily... pero late pa rin ako! Then I figured, I haven't had a confession for two years now. Hmmm.... might as well ask for the schedule. I approached the priest after and he told me that he can handle it right now.

Rom: As in now na, father?

Priest: Oo now na, as in!

Rom: Ah.. okayyyyyy....

I didn't know it had to be a face-to-face thing. I mean, I dread that. I feel so ashamed ranting my long sin list in front of a priest! But then, that was my only chance to do it. So I begun...

All I remember was that by the middle of my confession I started to cry and the father had to usher me elsewhere to contain the gravity of the situation. I felt so guilty for waiting this long before I reached out for God again. It's been two years... And then finally, the priest uttered something that struck me and has changed me forever. No exaggeration. He really said something that has answered the biggest, most troubling question of my life. I don't want to post it here for some private reasons. I was stopped when he said it and I felt it was some sort of a word from God telling me of His true will for my life. Of course, no human being, even as holy as a priest can tell God's will in our lives. But what he said had such truth in it that now it all makes sense to me why things had to happen this way.

I shouldn't have waited this long before I went to confession but then again I realized that maybe he was the right priest to tell me that. It's true that we can somehow discover answers to our questins.

And it is true that when you seek Him, you shall find Him.

This entry is not yet done. My new year's great remember? so here's another story...

Hands On Manila.

Last night, Karen and I had a bad bad day. Good thing we got ourselves into the Hands On Manila orientation at Powerbooks Megamall to ease our explosive tempers that night.

Wow! How exciting are the volunteer projects! From cooking, to arts & craft, to education & tutorials, to sports, to I.T and web design, to faith and spirituality... and a whole lot more! Whatever is your interest, you'll surely find the right volunteer project to join here at Hands On Manila! (do I sound like I'm writing for a web content here???? asan ang keyword one? hehe!)

So anyway, that was the best thing about last night. Karen and I are scheduled to volunteer for the "Talking Hands Project" where we are to teach deaf & mute kids how to do arts & craft. Bonus: the kids will teach us the ways of sign language! cool ei?!

I do hope that anyone who's reading this will be interested to take part in this noble endeavor of Hands On Manila. Just attend the 1-hour orientation (see their website for the sked), go to the project venues with no cash involved, and whoala! You'll be helping a lot of our marginalized fellow Filipinos, both young and old in this journey called life!

So much for the pep talk. I believe I'm starting to achieve my 2006 goals one by one. Excellent! Happy happy new year!!!

Yesterday, at glorietta, I met with my blockmate-slash-orgmate-slash-forever friend Christopher (tope for short). Grabe ang tagal na naming hindi nagkita since October of last year ata.

Late ang lolo mo. 5pm onwards daw. 6 andun nko pero dumating sha past 6:30 na! hay! pero shempre nung nakita ko siya tuwang-tuwang-tuwa ako!!!! I got him a little gift kase sobrangg namiss ko talaga ang bataing ito. Tapos nagdinner kami.

Then ikot ikot glorietta at nachempuhan namin ang kinakatakutan kong DRAGON DANCE! Ewan ko, engot lang cguro talaga ako pero scary talaga sakin eversince ang dragon dance... parang kakainin kase ako e... hahahahahha!!!! Yung drum beat nakakagulat pa... We tried evading the scene so nagdaan kami dun sa sides pero wag ka! dun umikot yung dragon while we were passing by so ayun! alam nyo na ang susunod na nakakahiyang pangyayari sakin heheheheh! Pinagtawanan ako ni tope, as usual...

Kahapon naman, na-lambast ako ng isang bading sa MRT. Kase mejo nagkasabay kami nung isa nya pang kasamang gay sa pag take nung vacant seat. So since  I was the nearest girl dun sa area, I presumed pauupuin ako dun sa free space. Eh mejo nagkahiyaan kami, so I gave way for him... pero dahil gentleman pa rin ang lolo/la, he offered the seat. Nag thank you naman ako. Kaso yung kasama nyang gay mega lambast: "Eh bakit ba??? We're all tired noh! There should be no gender discrimination na noh! "

While he had a valid point, sana lang hindi nya ko ni-lambast in public di ba? Parang nahiya naman ako at pinaupo ako heheh! I got discriminated as a woman! baliktad na ang mundo haha!

Yun lang.. madalang na lang ang funny stories ng buhay ko bukod sa mg jokes ni kukurukuko sa office. Badtrip talaga hirap na hirap ako magsulat with that radio station on the background! Pero hindi pede mag react too much baka may masagasaan hehe!

That's all.

*end of story*

Nothing's workin' in my life right now. why?

Listen:

1. I'm supposed to have my site hosted but pinoyhosting.net hasn't said anything?! Tired of sending emails that go straight right into the vaccum of hopelessness. Tried YM, but to no avail also... haay.. why don't they reply???

2. Ok, ok, I'm dead regretting the fact that i grew lazy to do my freelance writing gig last year. But this time i'm all set for any kind of writing job. The thing is, i bump into paid memberships for job postings... or they'd say: But if you're one of those 18 year olds who just wanna try this out, forget it! I need someone who really loves beddings! duh!!!

3. 5am wake up -> bath, dress up, eat, rush to Ortigas -> super walkathon my leg vessels almost blow up -> 2 mins more and im late for work -> SEO mode while listening to some jolog station -> 5pm, leave the office -> stroll at mega B -> mrt -> home.... in other words---------------->BORING LIFE!!! waaaaaah! where are my so-called friends????

Now tell me, why can't things work out when they're supposed to??? Am I not putting in the right amount of effort??? Or am I just being impatient again???

Geez.

Right now, I can't seem to have a long series of thinkathons. Instead, I get myself into little short-term ponderings over a few things. Thanks for the SEO team's petix mode today I got myself into visiting so many blogsites here at tabulas, and more importantly the SEO gurls had pleasant brunch at Mcdo El Pueblo...

Here goes my little thoughts for this very lousy Wednesday.

1. "Your choice of partner is a reflection of what you are and what you are not."

aw!!!!! tsk tsk! shucks romela! Bear that in mind! By the way, got that from another blog post.

2. Paulo Coehlo: Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit yourself to - what's best for you.

I wonder what you can call someone who doesn't know what's best for him/her? Pano na 'yun? edi technically, you don't have freedom din coz you don't know what to commit to... what's best for you. pano nko? no freedom?!!!! hehe

3. Si "steady" ni Kelly is coming this March! Pano na pag nag-proprose na siya sa Boracay????? yiheeee!!!! Motherness na din si kelly!

4. Magpaparelax na si Karen. Eto na ba ang simula ng kabanata sa buhay nya na ang title ay: "Dalaga, iibig na!" Patok!

5. Closing Cycles: "Things pass and the best we can do is to let them really go away... not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life."

It's easy to know what doesn't fit your life anymore, but it's difficult to know what fits... or what can be a better replacement. As if letting go is not challenging enough for people, it poses another problem: what does one really want in his/her life now that you've let go of something/someone in the past?

6. From a book (forgot the title): Finding the right one is like going shopping. The difficulty lies in the length of your shopping list and the kind of places you shop.

Haha! Bakit sakin, madali lang magshopping? kahit nga anytime e heheh! Well, there's some truth to that... parang you will never find it if you don't know what you're looking for, di ba? Sa ukay-ukay na lang mura pa! *laughter*

7. Magmumura pba ang twister fries?

Grabe, ang mahal nya na kaya... fave ko pa naman yun...

8. Kung gusto nyong matawa, visit nyo 'to (c/o Ryx) : http://www.demotivators.com/viewall.html

9. While writing this article, I'm chatting with college friend Luis. sabi nya: "Nobody gets exactly what they want..."

So does that mean, we have to settle na lng for some mediocre things/relationships/career etc?

10. Nahihirapan akong i-close ang entry na 'to... can't think of a good closing... parang sa buhay... we believe we actually know how to begin, but we can't seem to figure out how to end something first.

How do you deal with bad news especially when it has come at a time so perfect such as when you're frantically finishing a priority task in the office?

That was what happened to me.

I once thought I'll never be ready for this, but what the heck?! Reality has come knockin' at my door again. Today, almost a lot are different. Perspectives changing every now and then. And when I finally told myself I've accepted these and I'm ready for it, that's the time I realize that there are still some things left hanging in my head... when I thought everything is now perfect... all in place.

No, there aren't any mourning to take place... perhaps a few tears, but really I'm sensing a different reaction that I'm about to give for this bad news. I don't even consider it totally bad... normal can be the word... or expected... or nonsense (bitter?)

It'll be very immature of me not to go to work tomorrow, so I think I'll probably be facing the same pc (and the same crisis... oh.. crisis is too strong for a word) Heck!

And then you begin asking God, "Am I really ready for this now, Lord?"

You didn't tell me it's not going to be that easy...

I don't believe in second chances because I often think they're not significant and that they don't work for me...until I got myself into remembering some life-astonishing events that I came upon with.

Just a little of time and that gall stone would be tricking down my hepatic duct. That was fatal, my doctors said. If I wasn't opened up at that moment I could have died in just a few hours. Just in time, Lord. I breathed again (and ate normally again).

Passing down C5, dad and I were not aware that mean people actually throw pill boxes to passing cars. Ours was hit. It jammed into the steel area in between the front seat and the back seat windows. I was in the front seat. The following morning, we saw a great dent on the part that was hit. Whew! So the throw was that mighty, huh? If it hit my window, it could have smashed terribly wrecking (ok exagg) my face/head. Talk about miracles.

So I figured, I have been given a lot of second chances in life. Second chances that I fail to appreciate because I'm freaking askin' for something else from God. I get preoccupied by my own version of a second chance. To simply put it, I want my will over God's that I almost miss His point.

His point? He gives people, believers and nonbelievers alike, a second chance in life because He wants them to fulfill something... to pursue a purpose. There's still a mission awaiting YOU and ME. And that mission is to be won.

Let's celebrate our second chances. It's significance is greater than what we could ever fathom.

Do men really cry hard when they get broken-hearted?

My brother (my only brother) went shoutin' and cryin' like hell last night. No, I wasn't in the house. My mom informed me through sms this morning. At first I couldn't believe it. That's very unlikely of him. Why?

Well you see, my brother is a musician. He plays the guitar and the drums. Of course God was kind enough to just allow me to have the vocal gift instead of him (haha! isingit ba ang sarili?!). And aside from his musical talent, he is also a basketball player at school and in our community. So that makes me damn proud of my brother (hindi naman halata, rom). He just doesn't know about it.

So anyway, that's how he's wired. He speaks sparingly in the house. He's mostly quiet. Siya na ata ang pinaka supladong lalake na nakilala ko. And then this event happened. He and his girlfriend (na mukhang yaya... i'm sorry nanggigigil talaga ako e..) broke up. C'mon she's not really pretty, and my golly!!! Smart would be a foreign word for her. I know I'm being mean here... sorry talaga. Then just this morning I found out that the girl's got a new boy toy. And that leaves my brother crazy. No exaggeration. He's really going crazy now. He cried to my mom. He kept on shouting in the house... drunk with his friends... very unlikely of my silent-type brother.

When it comes to heart matters, we don't usually confide with one another. Well obviously you've got to consider the gender difference. But more than that, I never really imagined my brother to be so crazy over a girl. Kase nga, napaka suplado niya. Then this happened. I don't know what to tell him actually. When we chatted this morning I told him never to consider the idea of stopping school. Gosh! Can you believe he thought of that?! I had my share of terrible swash-backing-nerve-wrecking-eye-dropping heartaches but the pain never got to the point that I'd give up my studies. It's true what they say that boys handle heart pains different from how we girls manage them.

We chatted for quite a while. I'm glad that he listened. I told him that dad and mom can help him transfer to a new school if he likes, and that he can regain his lost self-esteem by improving himself through engaging in his hobbies and sports. My brother has got quite a low confidence for himself eversince we were kids. And tragically, this thing would simply put him down as ever.

What I do hope as of the moment is to help him realize that his heartaches can be a stepping stone towards self-development. When I was deeply hurt in the past, I couldn't think of anything right about my situation. Constant sobfest would just begin at any moment even during class. But mind you, I only missed a class during those "post-break up days". The pain taught me to fight, study hard, achieve my goals one day at a time, and trust God more and more. Difficult would be a lame term to describe what I went through. I couldn't stop crying and praying. I think it was a good thing that I was doing my thesis at that time. That kept my mind off him (ok, a bit off him hehe). The motivation was not to prove to the guy that I can live and succeed without him. It was actually a personal decision to make myself realize that I can be strong. The motivation was to stay in the Dean's list. Kahit yun lang para kunswelo na sa sarili ko...

That's how I handled my so-called crisis (yak! mababasa niya na naman 'to heheh!). I just don't know with men how they overcome the pain of a break up. But I think it gets worse for them when they're not used to expressing their emotions. My swollen eyebags were for the record then. You see like my brother, he's not used to showing his feelings that's why he got into some explosion to release the anger and pain.

My only wish is that everyone who knows him would take the time to pray for my brother. I feel that his angst doubles what I had then. And I do not know if he can still entertain the positive side of things now. This is really a tragedy for him... Please pray for him...

There is freedom in silence.

That's one line I've learned from my English 4 teacher, and last Sunday I've found the truth in that statement.

Hands On Manila

On the 4th floor of the San Roque bldg. at the Immaculate Conception Church in Pasig; Karen, Tope, Chammy, and I met with our hearing impaired brothers and sisters. We were to interact with them as we create refrigerator magnets. Project: Talking Hands.

Before the encounter, the volunteers gave us lesson 1: Basic Sign Language. Boy oh boy! It was really fun and interesting! Even with simple greetings and words I felt like I was being opened to an opportunity of learning a new skill! It was kinda frustrating though in the beginning coz I couldn't get into a longer, more spontaneous conversation with the deaf and mute since I couldn't utilize more than what was taught in lesson 1. Nevertheless, it was fulfilling to know that I'm making these nice people smile and feel good about themselves.

Freedom what?

So as I was saying at the start of this blog post, there is freedom in silence. The deaf and mute cannot come up with constructed sentences when they do sign language but they sure pay great attention to what you're trying to tell them. As one deaf volunteer said (hey, he can talk a little bit), we have to focus on the person's hands and on his/her facial expression to get what they mean.

Also, their language is quite simple. They say (or express) what they truly mean. Unlike with normal people like us, we often beat around the bush instead of getting to the point. Or sometimes we simply drop hints when we express our feelings. But with the hearing impaired, there's only one way to say "I love you" or "I'm mad at you". There's no reading between the lines. What you see (or interpret) is what you get. That's why I believe the deaf and mute are more real human beings coz they don't have any pretensions whatsoever. I say they are more capable of showing how they really feel as boldly and as clearly as possible because of the limited means of communication that they know.

See, that's freedom in silence. You are free from regrets of not being able to say what's in your mind. You are free from pretentions. You are free from being misunderstood coz when you say "I love you", that's it. No more I've-been-wanting-to-see-you-stuff that we often say to mean that 3-word statement.

So that makes the hearing impaired more blessed. I bet they have more of what we call "freedom of expression". Sometimes freedom does not always mean having all the means at your disposal. Look at the deaf and the mute. They are not imprisoned in the world where they can't always clearly express what's inside because of complicated language-emotion issues. That's one thing we more able beings should reflect on.